Feeling of no subconscious thoughts, or a “dead” imagination?

2021.10.24 05:22 Responsible-Cod8028 Feeling of no subconscious thoughts, or a “dead” imagination?

Apologies if I’m not allowed to post here. I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder but not derealization. It’s hard for me to tell when I am experiencing thoughts that others believe are psychotic.
But ever since my first manic episode and the mess that became my life afterwards, I’ve felt like a part of me died. The best ever explanation I’ve had is that my subconsciousness has detached somehow. The exciting creative thoughts I had growing up have turned into boring emptiness.
I only ever feel normal and “fully present in reality” in my dreams and when I’m asleep. There, I have full access to my subconscious thoughts and creativity. In my waking state, I feel only half existing. Like my thoughts are here but my soul is not. I can’t have any relationships or friends because I feel uncomfortable with people. My feelings for others are totally dead. I used to be a smart, creative person, but now I feel like I have a head full of concrete. I can’t think at all. I’m about to get a new psychiatrist but in the meantime I’m trying to explore my consciousness.
Does anyone relate to any of this or am I in the wrong ballpark completely? Part of me thinks I’m experiencing the total opposite of derealization. Again, apologies if this isn’t allowed and I can remove it.
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2021.10.24 05:22 TheJimmyDodger [PS4] W: Someone to help me move an item to a new character H: Pretty much every weapon/ask

Trying to prep a build for Return to Lordran, and I was hoping someone could help me move a Sanctus shield. I've recently completed my platinum on another character so I have most things, including everything required for Knights Honor. Thanks in advance.
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2021.10.24 05:22 Octofoto Now wonder why they sleep half of the day

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2021.10.24 05:22 Nohan07 La première édition de "Run to live" se déroule le 31 octobre

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2021.10.24 05:22 BodilessEye WHAT DEFILETH A MAN Rev. ELMO C. ACTON 1970

APRIL, 1970 No. 3

 "There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things that come out of him, these are they that defile the man." (Mark 7:15) The Pharisees were a sect that rigidly observed their traditional interpretation of the Mosaic Law; therefore, on seeing the disciples of Jesus eating with "unwashen hands"-an act strictly forbidden by their interpretation-they asked Jesus why His disciples walked not according to the tradition of the elders. Jesus answered: "This people honoreth Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me." It is evident that the Lord here refers to the Pharisees' departure from the true spirit of the Law by their strict obedience to the traditions of the elders. They made the Law of no effect by their vain traditions. Having thus admonished the Pharisees, the Lord called the people together and instructed them concerning the true life of religion. He taught them that true worship does not consist in external acts-in that which comes from without-but in the thoughts and intentions of the internal man-in the things which come out of man. "There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things which come out of him, these are they that defile the man." In the interior natural or moral sense, these words obviously mean that acts themselves, in so far as they do not proceed from love, do not condemn a man, but only those acts which proceed from evil thought and intention. Also that the evil things taken in by means of the senses, such as the hearing and seeing of evil, are not appropriated to man, but only those things which, having so entered, delight his imagination and from it proceed into act. In this way the evils that have entered become his own, and proceed from his heart. 
By these he is defiled. No manner of evil whatever that enters into a man from without can defile him, as long as he does not delight in dwelling upon it, and from delight bring it forth into act whenever external conditions permit, that is to say, in so far as he is not restrained by external fears. The same teaching can be applied to the appropriation of good; for there is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can purify him: but the things which come out of him, these are they that purify the man. A life according to the letter of the Law, which is the carrying out of the Law in act, without thought and love being present in the act, does not contribute to man's salvation. So also, whatever of good flows into man by means of the senses, does not become a part of his life unless it again flows from the heart into act, for what so proceeds is from the man himself.
 The spiritual sense of these words treats of the means whereby man appropriates evil to himself, and consequently how good is appropriated to him. Man is man by virtue of his being able to will and to understand, and not from his being able to understand apart from willing or to will apart from understanding; therefore that only which proceeds from both the will and the understanding is added to his life. Nothing of good or evil is with man from himself. All good inflows from the Lord through heaven, and all evil inflows from hell. Man, however, feels good and evil to be his own, and this in order that he may receive a heavenly proprium; for nothing is appropriated to man except what he does as from himself. Thus, if a man does evil believing it to be his own, he thereby appropriates it to himself, and it is with difficulty removed. It is principally the evil that inflows into man from the hells that is meant in the spiritual sense by that which comes from without; consequently, the further reference is to the good that inflows from heaven. Evil inflows with man into his evil will, received through heredity, and from this into his understanding or thought, where it is either received or rejected. If it is received in the thought, and from thence put forth into act, it is then appropriated; but if it is cast out from the thought, the fact of its having entered does not defile the man. All man's conscious life is in his understanding and its affections. The understanding is the only indication we have of our spiritual state, for by means of it the will acts, and in it the intentions of the will are seen. It is with the intentions of the will, as manifested in the understanding, that our spiritual battle is waged. This does not mean that we can be regenerated by means of merely thinking concerning the goods and truths of heaven, for the understanding determines only the form of man's life; the love or will is the very life itself, and unless this is regenerated or made new the man is not saved. 
The will, however, flows into man's conscious thought according to the state or quality of the understanding, and by it acts in the body. Now because the will and the understanding are in part separated, man is able to induce a heavenly form upon his understanding, into which form the hells, through the evil heredity, cannot flow, but into which the Lord inflows through heaven and endows the man with a new will. This heavenly form can be induced upon the understanding only by means of the truths of Divine revelation, which constitute the order of heaven on the natural or external plane. Therefore the state of the understanding alone does not indicate man's spiritual welfare, but the state of the will as seen in the understanding, in whose light, if it be heavenly light, the evils of the old will may be seen and cast out.
 In Matthew, where the same teaching is given, it is said: "Whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly and is cast out into the draught. But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart, and they defile the man." The mouth represents the thought of the understanding, which receives all manner of spiritual foods, good and evil. The belly signifies the power of the understanding to make a judgment concerning these foods, and to cast out those that do not contribute to its ends. By, "those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart," is meant that whatever comes forth from the understanding into act comes forth in the first place from the will or love, for by the heart in the Word is signified the will. Man has no direct control over the influx of evil loves and affections which, when received in the understanding, arouse evil thoughts and intentions, and it may therefore be said that man has no power to control the thoughts that arise in his mind. But because his understanding is separated from his will, he does have the power to make a judgment concerning the things that inflow, and according to the form of his understanding and the presence of heavenly affections in it, such will his judgment be. The evils that are present with a man by virtue of his heredity do not defile him; that is to say, he is not condemned because of them, since he has not received them in freedom. They do condemn him when he appropriates them to himself by meditating and willing them. So also, the evil thoughts that enter the understanding through heredity are not attributed to him and do not defile him. "There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him; but the things which come out of him, these are they that defile the man." 
 During the entire process of man's regeneration evil thoughts enter his understanding, because during this time the old will and the natural memory into which it acts are still active, and are not removed until a new will is given to man by the Lord. Many who are regenerating are troubled unduly because they are continually infested with thoughts of hatred, revenge, deceit, adultery and pride, but let them know the teaching of the Writings: "Nothing is appropriated to man that he only thinks, yea, nor what he thinks from willing, unless at the same time he wills it in such a degree that when opportunity arises he does it."* There is nothing from without a man that entering into him can defile him. In fact, it is necessary that evil thoughts should so enter that man may see the evils that reside within him, and thence reject them: "It must be known that man cannot be purified from evils and the consequent falsities unless the unclean things that are in him come forth as far as into the thought, and are there seen, recognized, discerned, and put away."** These evil thoughts are appropriated to a man when he allows them to remain actively in his thought, and then the will through the understanding puts them forth into act. When evil thoughts, aroused by the influx of evil affections from hell, are thus put away, which can be done only by an understanding formed according to the order of heaven, that is to say, which has received its quality from the truths of the Word, then room is made for the influx of goods and truths from heaven, and in this way the old will is removed by the Lord and man is given heavenly loves which make one with his thought. At this time the old will is so far removed that nothing from it can flow into the understanding, for the understanding is made one with the new will. So it is that the angels are not continually infested with evil thoughts. 
 "The evil which inflows into the thought from evil spirits does not at all hurt man if he does not receive it; but if he receives it, and carries it over from the thought into the will, he then makes it his own; and in this case he goes over to the side of the infernal spirits and draws back from the angels of heaven."* The same teaching must be applied to the appropriation of good from the Lord. Good from the Lord continually inflows with man into the thoughts of the understanding when the understanding receives truths from the Word. But these goods, as long as they are only retained in the thought, are not appropriated to the man. It is not until man-from the continual retention of them in the thoughts of his understanding, and then by a life according to them - appropriates them, that they become a part of his heavenly proprium. The will is first purified by means of the understanding, in the way just spoken of, then the understanding is purified by the will, and then the will puts itself forth by means of the understanding; for those things that come forth out of the mouth come forth from the heart, and they defile a man. But if they be good things from heaven they purify him. 
LESSONS: Isaiah 29: 9-24. Mark 7:1-23. AC 6308-6309. MUSIC: Liturgy, pages 450, 440, 503. PRAYERS: Liturgy, nos. 66, 86.
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2021.10.24 05:22 VerdinDaniel Regulated crypto Mastercards launched by EQIFI

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2021.10.24 05:22 Valuable_Agreeable Read this comment in a Facebook group, felt it might be useful. Information not confirmed by me

The changes are now laws not regulations and the laws come into effect on the 1st January. BasicAlly no tutoring for kids and parent can face punishment f found to be breaking the new laws. Teachers just have to face it, the largest kids teaching market is now gone. Tens of thousands of currently trained and qualified teachers won't find work elsewhere as there is not another market out their to absorb them. PY rate in other markets have also been coming back as some schools take advantage in the total glut of teachers currently available. This situation will remain until the teacher numbers fall significantly Online teaching is no longer an easy way to make money while at college, while being a Stay at home mom or while travelling the world. Online teaching got exploited to death but that is mostly over. Hopefully it will go back to where it was a few years ago when far fewer where around.
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2021.10.24 05:22 autobot_9000 @Ayumi_Atsumori: RT @rose_yvespiaget: カムラの床板 Wood floor of Kamura Village By MONSTER HUNTER RISE #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #あつ森 #ACNH #あつ森マイデザイン配布 #acnhdesigns #マイデザイン #customdesigns #地面系 https://t.co/R8eKeUmauq

@Ayumi_Atsumori: RT @rose_yvespiaget: カムラの床板 Wood floor of Kamura Village By MONSTER HUNTER RISE #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #あつ森 #ACNH #あつ森マイデザイン配布 #acnhdesigns #マイデザイン #customdesigns #地面系 https://t.co/R8eKeUmauq submitted by autobot_9000 to ACNH_Twitter_Designs [link] [comments]

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2021.10.24 05:22 autobot_9000 @StardustMade009: RT @rose_yvespiaget: カムラの床板 Wood floor of Kamura Village By MONSTER HUNTER RISE #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #あつ森 #ACNH #あつ森マイデザイン配布 #acnhdesigns #マイデザイン #customdesigns #地面系 https://t.co/R8eKeUmauq

@StardustMade009: RT @rose_yvespiaget: カムラの床板 Wood floor of Kamura Village By MONSTER HUNTER RISE #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #あつ森 #ACNH #あつ森マイデザイン配布 #acnhdesigns #マイデザイン #customdesigns #地面系 https://t.co/R8eKeUmauq submitted by autobot_9000 to ACNH_Twitter_Designs [link] [comments]

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2021.10.24 05:22 Sharp_You3382 How to Design Higher Order Mux Using Lower Order |5 Min ONLY

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