The Beginning, gib_ber (Me), 2022

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2022.01.27 06:15 gib_ber The Beginning, gib_ber (Me), 2022

The Beginning, gib_ber (Me), 2022 submitted by gib_ber to SpecArt [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 ShmeKERo0 EQ for Cloud Alpha

Best overall settings would be really useful (and how to properly apply them). No DAC - plugged straight into mobo.
PS: Pair sounds a tiny bit too boomy out of the box imo. Also, should I feel bad for buying after new revision? I mean the whole "Hp buying HyperX" thing. Thanks in advance.
submitted by ShmeKERo0 to HyperX [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 GoodGirlsGrace pro-life group talked OP out of an abortion and adoption for her twins. It destroyed her life.

I'm not the OP. This is a repost sub.
TW: addiction, rape, physical and sexual abuse
Mood Spoiler: Deeply Tragic
Backstory Post by u/minimininimini to exmormon
This is posted after the original post, but most of the events took place before. They are not necessary to follow the story in the OG post, but does provide important context for OP's actions in that post. As such, I think I should include it. If you do not wish to read this, skip to the original post below.
Sharing my story.
Warning for physical and sexual abuse.
I was born to very devout parents. I was isolated from everyone who didn't think like us, and taught that non Christians were immoral and would hurt me if I trusted them, and we could only really trust Mormons. My family and community had really backward values. Everyone I knew was had extremely misogynistic, homophobic, and racist views. I believed that my only worth as a woman was in having babies and submitting to and pleasing my future husband. I didn't know same sex relationships existed, my only knowledge of homosexuality was as a depraved sex act by deranged individuals. I believed non white people were inherently lazy, stupid, and criminal and that's why so few non white people in America were successful. Unlearning those views has been a journey. I spent my childhood in a lot of shame and fear of hell, because I was constantly being told I was a sinner.
Looking back I know I probably had a behavior disorder but I was basically told I was a bad child and punished for it instead of getting help. My parents believed in physical punishments including making me sit in an ice bath or have cold showers, caning and spanking, and making me drink hot sauce. They also installed a lock on a cabinet so they could put me and my older brother and sisters inside where we were supposed to reflect on our behavior and pray for forgiveness. When I was 12 I outgrew the cabinet and had to bend uncomfortably to fit, and I still have a bad back from that 12 years later. One of my sisters disappeared for a few months and when she came back with visible bruises and burns my parents explained she was struggling with homosexual thoughts and had gone to be cured of her deviance through prayer. To cope with the abuse, I started shoplifting alcohol and drinking in secret at 14, and when I was 16 I was caught with a bottle of vodka. As punishment my father almost drowned me in the bath. I believed that everything they were doing was not only totally justified, but also totally normal.
When I was 7, my father was spanking me as a punishment for disagreeing with him in front of other members of the church, and after he was done he began to touch me inappropriately. This was the first of many times he sexually abused me, and it soon escalated into rape, forced oral sex, and forced sodomy. My older brother also began to rape me when I was 11 and he was 17. The abuse from my brother ended when he got married and left home 2 years later. By the time I stopped contact with my family he had a son and a daughter. The abuse from my father continued until I escaped at 18.
The whole time this was happening I believed it was my fault and that I was unclean and ruined for my future husband, and if anyone ever found out they would be disgusted by me. This was reinforced whenever I did try to tell anyone. I told multiple people including my mother and Bishop and every time I was dismissed. They all said I was either lying or fantasizing about sex or somehow bringing the abuse onto myself by acting provocatively, and all of them meant I was a disgusting sinner. My Bishop asked detailed questions about exactly what was being done to me, obviously trying to catch me with an inconsistency, and it gave me what I now know was a panic attack. He said it was a sign God wanted me to stop speaking because I was lying. I believed that God didn't want me spreading rumors about my brother and father and when I shared my testimony I would even talk about how I was a sinner because I was a gossip but God sent a sign to me to stop speaking. There were multiple times I was punished and forced to repent and pray for forgiveness for being raped, or forced to apologize for supposedly spreading falsehoods about my rapists. I don't know if anything similar happened to my two older sisters, because I haven't talked to them since I was 18 and I hadn't yet realized what happened to me wasn't my fault.
Even though I was always taught that it was rarely useful for a woman to get a higher education, I convinced my parents that God was calling me to get a degree in nursing. I went to a college away from home and because of the combination of meeting lots of people with different beliefs and already having a lot of doubts about the church, my family, my community, and God, I started to stray from my faith pretty quickly after starting college. I also realized I couldn't safely stay in contact with my family or community. One day I just sent a message to my family saying to never contact me again and deleted all my social media. Getting officially out of the church wasn't as straightforward but I managed it eventually.
Without my faith or community I was pretty lost. I tried to involve myself in college life, like going to parties and drinking, smoking weed, having sex, but I was in this constant haze of confusion and depression. I let people push me into things I didn't want to do, I became an alcoholic, even attended class still buzzed, I started struggling with the workload of classes I didn't even want to go to because I only went to college to get away from home. I got pregnant, and in seeking help on obtaining an abortion a pro life group contacted me, told me they'd take care of me financially, and convinced me that motherhood would solve all my problems. I was still in the process of breaking free from indoctrination so unfortunately I believed them that my duty was to be a mother and when I had my babies it would all click into place and things would just work out. Of course it was all a lie, and I ended up with twins and no help.
I've only recently been able to start seeing a psychologist to deal with my trauma and addiction. The church ruins people. It destroys souls. It has taken 6 years after leaving for me to get to a place where I can even begin healing from the sick and twisted things they put me through.
Original Post by u/minimininimini to regretfulparents
This is OP's original post. However, the events here took place after most of the things mentioned in the backstory post. Reading that post is highly recommended but not necessary, especially if you have triggers.
I was an 18 year old college student living on my own, having just escaped my abusive family. I fell pregnant and while I was trying to get information on having an abortion, members of a pro-life group sent me tons of messages saying they'd support me financially and emotionally if I went through with my pregnancy, saying they just wanted to be sure I had options. I was extremely depressed and vulnerable and I was living in this haze, and they made me believe having a baby would fix everything. That my problem was that I hadn't fulfilled my life's purpose of becoming a mother, which reinforced a lot of my family's indoctrination I hadn't shaken yet. They dropped their support as soon as I could no longer legally get an abortion, and I had to drop out of college to support myself and my twins. We had rough patches where I thought we'd end up homeless, but I still clung to the hope it would be worth it. My life would be better because I was a mother.
My twins are 6 now. I'm no longer struggling to put food on the table or pay rent, but they didn't fix anything. I think I snapped out of it when they were 2 years old and realized I ruined my life by having them. The horrible thing is I resent them and I feel so emotionally disconnected from them. Sometimes I feel like I'm just their babysitter and I'm waiting for their mom to come pick them up. The idea of 12 more years of this makes me sick.
Revelant Comments
Commenter: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I want to just give you a hug. I don’t mean to be insensitive, and I don’t know how this feels or want to seems dismissive by suggesting things but are there family members that aren’t abusive who would want your twins and be their legal guardian? I’m guessing it’s too late to put them up for adoption? I am so sorry about everything. I truly understand.
OP: I have no connection to family members because even the ones who aren't abusive are still enablers of abuse from others. I'm actually in contact with a family I know who are very interested in adopting them.
------------------------
Commenter: I'm sorry you went and are still going through this. Your kids are already a little old, but you could still put them up to adoption. If you can't connect, they probably can feel it. Kids need emotional connection for a balanced development (I myself was a burden for my parents and to this day, I'm 44, I wish they could have bonded with me like I see for people around me). It would be better for them, and for you, if they could find a familly that want them.
OP: I didn't know it was possible to do that. That's the reason I didn't do it when they were 2, I thought you couldn't if they were that old or that it would do serious damage to them or something.
------------------------
Update 1 - OP puts the kids in their father's parents' care.
Original Post
How to talk to my 6 year olds about them going to live with their grandparents?
It's clear to me that I'm too unstable to be raising my kids, I'm an alcoholic and an emotional wreck due to long term trauma through my childhood. I'm also struggling financially and it's just not good for kids to grow up constantly being told I can't afford to buy them something they want. I have very little actual emotional connection to them, I resent them for simply being born, and they're getting to an age where they might start to figure that out. I was considering terminating my parental rights completely but I have been able to track down their biological father, who has passed away, but his parents were excited to find out he has children. He was their only child and died without any other kids so it's a big deal for them. I brought up the possibility of them taking the kids in part-time and they were thrilled. They've been talking on Skype to the kids every day and the kids love them. They're going to meet them in person next week and they're very excited.
I don't really know how to talk to them about going to live with their grandparents part-time. I don't want them to feel like I'm abandoning them but I also don't want to scare them about my emotional state or anything. If any of you have had to explain to a child why they're going into foster care or going to live with someone else, how did you explain it?
------------------------
After that post, there is a series of updates posted to stopdrinking.
Update 2
Today, for the first time in almost 5 years, I'm going to try and get through the day without a drink.
Almost a decade ago, in my mid-teens I started using alcohol to cope with severe abuse. It became steadily worse over time, and by the time I was 19 it was a full-blown addiction. I can't remember a day since then when I haven't at least snuck a few glasses of wine before bed. I convinced myself it was ok because I wasn't getting wasted and it wasn't directly impacting my work or my children, but I was wrong. I've been talking to my therapist for a while about quitting, because I know this isn't sustainable or ok, but last night I took the first step, stopping myself after one drink and pouring the rest down the drain. Hopefully today will be my first in many years without a single drink.
Update 3
I'm spiralling.
My life feels like it's in pieces and the cravings are all-consuming. I've been dreaming about drinking. I had no idea how badly alcohol had taken over my life until I stopped drinking.
Update 4
Feeling like it's impossible to quit. Wanting to give up.
Every time I feel like I'm succeeding I end up drinking again. Not only that, but while before I would just have a few glasses of wine every night, every time I slip up now I get completely drunk and go on drinking binges. I'm almost about to lose my job because I've come in hungover or tipsy too many times. I feel like it's better to just go back to how it was before rather than keep trying and failing and ruining my life. It was more or less sustainable before, but this isn't.
Update 5
I have officially been fired due to my drinking.
My boss gave me so many chances and was so understanding of my struggle trying to quit drinking, but ultimately my addiction affected my job too many times. I don't even know how I'll be able to get a new job with how much of a mess I've been lately.
Revelant Comments:
Commenter: Well, if it were me, I would get real humble. I would write a letter to my boss and thank him for firing me. I'd make it a real letter, not a text or an email. I would tell him that his actions were the reality check that I needed to turn my life around. I would ask him for a reference and explain that even though I had failed him before, if he just gave me a reference, I wouldn't let him down again. Who knows? He might just hire you back. Bosses are human too. At this point, it doesn't hurt to try. What else do you have to lose? Good luck!
OP: She told me that if I can stay sober for a few months she might be able to hire me back, but that she can't afford to hire me back while I'm still struggling to stay sober. Unfortunately can't just not pay rent for a few months while I get sober.
------------------------
This leads to her final posts, submitted to SuicideWatch.
Update 6
My last attempt failed so I'm trying again.
Wish me luck.
Update 7
Just took a ton of pills.
I hope it's enough to kill me.
Revelant Commnets:
Commenter: Your children will miss not ever getting to know you as a person if you take your life now. It’s worth taking the chance that you will have good moments and good days, even a good life, rather than losing that possibility forever by being gone. Pills have a high rate of causing long term damage to the kidneys and other organs. Please seek medical attention!
OP: They will never know me anyway. I have completely ended contact with them for their own good and terminated my parental rights.
submitted by GoodGirlsGrace to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 ThatOneMetalguy666 Toan is stored in drugs that's why old music is better

Toan is stored in drugs that's why old music is better submitted by ThatOneMetalguy666 to guitarcirclejerk [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 aedcsl A new digital art by me, COCONUTS, 2022

A new digital art by me, COCONUTS, 2022 submitted by aedcsl to minimalist_art [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 ozman123 Follow the yellow brick road

Follow the yellow brick road submitted by ozman123 to AusMemes [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 basicbitch777 everything i desire is now manifesting into my life easily and effortlessly.

submitted by basicbitch777 to lawofattraction [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 koen193 First time putting on make up pre everything. What would be a good name for me?

First time putting on make up pre everything. What would be a good name for me? submitted by koen193 to MTFSelfieTrain [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 Gomie39 M40 NH not sure do guys even post on here?? Oh well, all opinions welcome!!! Excuse the busted nose lol

M40 NH not sure do guys even post on here?? Oh well, all opinions welcome!!! Excuse the busted nose lol submitted by Gomie39 to selfie [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 SnooWoofers7603 How do I kill laziness so I can start studying for exams?

Good morning everyone,
I’m 22 years old and I face some issues such as laziness and I have exams in few months, and I need to prepare for it real quick.
Need help?
submitted by SnooWoofers7603 to studytips [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 chixmagnet PLTCOL John Guiagui: Igorot is Outstanding Manilan in Law Enforcement

PLTCOL John Guiagui: Igorot is Outstanding Manilan in Law Enforcement submitted by chixmagnet to Igorotage [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 Kensarim ARM Template to set WAD extension

Trying to deploy a vm extesnion for the Azure monitor diagnostics and running into an issue where it will not assign my storage account. I've gone over the MS documentation so many times and cannot see what I am doing wrong.
There are 3 parts to the deployment, the az cli deployment references private and public settings.
In private, i have the following fields specified

{ "storageAccountName": "mystorageaccount", "storageAccountKey": "mykey, "storageAccountEndPoint": "https://mystorageaccount.blob.core.windows.net/" } 
In public:
"WadCfg": { "DiagnosticMonitorConfiguration": { "overallQuotaInMB": 1024, "DiagnosticInfrastructureLogs": { "scheduledTransferLogLevelFilter": "Error" }, "PerformanceCounters": { "scheduledTransferPeriod": "PT1M", "sinks": "AzureMonitorSink", "PerformanceCounterConfiguration": [ { "counterSpecifier": "\\Processor(_Total)\\% Processor Time", "sampleRate": "PT1M", "unit": "percent" }, { "counterSpecifier": "\\Memory\\% Committed Bytes In Use", "sampleRate": "PT1M", "unit": "percent" }, { "counterSpecifier": "\\LogicalDisk(_Total)\\% Disk Write Time", "sampleRate": "PT1M", "unit": "percent" }, { "counterSpecifier": "\\LogicalDisk(_Total)\\% Disk Read Time", "sampleRate": "PT1M", "unit": "percent" }, { "counterSpecifier": "\\LogicalDisk(_Total)\\% Disk Time", "sampleRate": "PT1M", "unit": "percent" } ] }, "SinksConfig": { "Sink": [ { "name": "AzureMonitorSink" }, { "name": "secondaryStorageAccount", "StorageAccount": { "name": "mystorageaccount", "endpoint": "https://core.windows.net" } } ] } }, "StorageAccount": "mystorageaccount", "StorageType": "TableAndBlob" } } 
I've tried with/wihtout the secondarystorageacount, and without the storage account at the bottom.
The rest of the template works as i can see the performance counters being applied, but it never enables the sink: Azure Monitor & under the agent tab, it never assigns storage.
any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
submitted by Kensarim to AZURE [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 fapstronautthrow1337 Problems with motivation / compleating tasks

So ive started this new program of nofap, each morning i wakeup at 7 am work out for 15-20 minutes and then go and take a cold shower and eat breakfast. The cold shower and exercises go SILKY SMOOTH, but when i sit on the table or rather want to my brain doesn't want cooperate. So i just end up sitting there technichally doing nothing for 2 hours and then something kicks in and im working My scedule normally is to sit at 8-12 and or 16-20 to do homework,learn and do productive stuff while stuff inbetween is just rest,meditstion,excessizes cleaning my house and other chores. My motivation and productivity seems to better lster during the day but what i dont understand is whats causing this sudden motivation drop? I have quite a few test at the end of next week so i have to figure out this as fast as possible and this to me all seems like this unmotivated teem is going to be a breathing ground for an urges to spring up.
submitted by fapstronautthrow1337 to NoFap [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 OpalP A kitten I drew from an RGD prompt

A kitten I drew from an RGD prompt submitted by OpalP to drawing [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 BeeeeefJerky wholesome slinky

wholesome slinky submitted by BeeeeefJerky to wholesomememes [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 IfInDoubtElbowOut Throwing light headkicks during sparring...

I consider myself to be an intermediate practitioner. I've been training for 5 years now (on and off).
I've always thrown light headkicks during sparring and never had anyone complain, get upset or otherwise indicate that it's a problem. Across the 3 gyms I've trained at, no coach has ever said that they weren't allowed during sparring.
This leads me to sparring the other night. Guy I've never seen at this gym before wants to sparr on our open sparring night (I've been here for about a year, training 5 days a week so he's certainly not a regular here). He's fairly competent and seems to have fairly good defense, so I figure he'd be cool with some light headkicks as part of my combos.
All of a sudden he throws a huge spinning back kick to my liver and drops me. I ask him "what the fuck?" and he goes off on me about how I'm throwing head kicks during sparring... "I said that if he didn't want me to throw headkicks, all he had to do was say and I would've stopped, there's no need to throw shots like that", and he said "you should know that you can't throw headkicks, everyone knows that"...
Is this the case in your gym? I spoke to the coach and he just shrugged and said he hasn't a clue what the guy was talking about. Is this a rule in most gyms that I'm unaware of?
I don't throw headkicks until I'm certain the person I'm training with has decent defence and is comfortable enough sparring me, I didn't think I was out of order or throwing it heavy or anything, but I don't want to be throwing shots against an unwritten rule.
submitted by IfInDoubtElbowOut to MuayThai [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 redpandr09 First time sketching something like this please give me tips and rate this out of 10

First time sketching something like this please give me tips and rate this out of 10 submitted by redpandr09 to AnimeSketch [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 Kanna_VZ After a month of playing this game I got to legend. I know it's not much but I feel really proud. I'm still a newb btw.

After a month of playing this game I got to legend. I know it's not much but I feel really proud. I'm still a newb btw. submitted by Kanna_VZ to DuelLinks [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 Slight_LEON Would you play mouse quest ?

The game sounds addictive as hell
submitted by Slight_LEON to SmilingFriends [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 East-Independence809 I forgot to ask from the start >~<, but who should I do next? Should I colour them?

I forgot to ask from the start >~<, but who should I do next? Should I colour them? submitted by East-Independence809 to DemonSlayerAnime [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 slogan25192 New video of Lavanya has no mention of religion or coercion to convert. Link in first comment

https://youtu.be/qM3ABXGyUAM
submitted by slogan25192 to TamilNadu [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 CaboGame Tales Of Fairy Empire Gameplay - Android Apk

Tales Of Fairy Empire Gameplay - Android Apk submitted by CaboGame to cabogame [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 Guilleack Are these controllers legit? Or do they look fake?

Are these controllers legit? Or do they look fake? submitted by Guilleack to PS3 [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 Kuznetsss Tiling and portable configuration

Hi! I'm using Awesome WM now but I really like how KDE looks like and how everything is easy to configure.
There are only two things I miss in KDE - tiling (which could be configurable with kwin scripts) and more important portable configuration. All my dotfiles (including Awesome WM dotfiles) are in my Github repo so it's easy to sync configuration between different computers and to get quickly all settings to new installation.
Is it possible with KDE? Could you give me some advices migrating from tiling wm to KDE without missing features?
submitted by Kuznetsss to kde [link] [comments]


2022.01.27 06:15 Apprehensive_Act2899 En sevdiğiniz söz nedir ?

submitted by Apprehensive_Act2899 to KGBTR [link] [comments]


http://canecorso74.ru